Dec 25 2010

here it is christmastime

Merry Christmas, from deep in the heart of Texas.

Dec 23 2010

austin city limits

I wonder how many visitors to Austin realize that the North-South streets are named after Texas rivers.  I know because I’m really, really smart.  And because Lyle Lovett told me so.  I wish I could have found his version of the song instead of the joker above.

Anyway, this reminds me that I forgot to mention I’m in Austin for Christmas.  You might remember Austin from its prominent placement on the spite list.  Now might also be a good time to mention that one of the recurring themes of in the new year is going to be removing items from the spite list.  Bah!  Humbug.

Nov 16 2010

i couldn’t agree more

Bah!  Humbug.

Oct 4 2010

today in ‘true grit’ news

Look, it’s a badass poster!Be prepared for a lot of this between now and Christmas Day.

Sep 27 2010

the dude avenges

Everybody who had zero days in the “How long after Hotrod returns to blogging until he writes a fawning Coen brothers post?” pool is a big winner today.  I just saw the first teaser trailer for their remake/re-imagining of True Grit, and goddamn it looks good.  I watched the original for the first time just a few months ago and it confirmed every preconception I have ever had about John Wayne: to wit – he was a terrible actor.  True Grit is a decent movie in spite of him, and I can’t believe the AMPAS gave him an Oscar for that performance.  But I am excited to see what Jeff Bridges will do with the part.  And I’m excited to finally have a reason to look forward to Christmas Day.

Dec 27 2009

my holiday in more than one hundred bullet-pointed words

A couple of hours ago, I got home from my annual December tour of the flyovers.  Here are a few of the highlights:

  • I kicked my sister’s ass at Rummikub.  It’s mostly a game of chance, so it’s not as satisfying as a Scrabble victory.  But the important thing is that I won.  A lot.
  • I watched Elf as I wrapped presents for the unknownth year in a row.  It was weird that I wasn’t wrapping presents on Christmas Eve this year.
  • I met up with a friend from high school I haven’t seen in at least ten years, and maybe since graduation.  That was good.
  • My ploy to buy the love of my nieces and nephews through cool Christmas presents continues apace.
  • I went to see Up in the Air by myself on Christmas Eve.  That was a little ironic, but I enjoyed it anyway.
  • I’m sick and tired of coming home sick and tired.  I’ll settle for just tired if my sister agrees not to bring sick kids from here on out.

Dec 25 2009

god bless us, every one

So I guess, like, Merry Christmas and stuff.

Nov 30 2009

adventures in christmas shopping

Last Christmas, my brother-in-law really wanted a new fishing pole.  I went to Dick’s Sporting Goods at Franklin Park Mall – in between stops at Barnes and Noble and Toys-R-Us – to get him one.  The strange thing was: none of their selection was marked with a price tag.  So I hunted down a clerk.  I picked up a really nice looking pole and asked the salesman how much it was. He said, “I’m blind, but if you give me the pole I can tell how much it is by the weight.”  I gave him the pole and he quickly replied, “This pole is worth $45.”  I was a little surprised by how cheap it was.  I picked out another nice-looking pole nearby and handed it to the man.  He told me, “This pole is worth $55.”  I could barely believe how cheap these fishing poles were.  I then selected the nicest looking pole in the place and handed it to the man.  He barely hefted it before saying, “This is our best fishing pole, and it costs $70.”  I told him I’d take it.

I’d eaten at Taco Bell for lunch, and as the nice salesman was ringing up my merchandise I suddenly had to fart very badly. I decided since he was blind it probably wouldn’t matter if I farted in front of him.  So I just let it rip.  To my surprise, the clerk said, “Okay, your total is $80.”  Confused, I asked him, “Didn’t you say the fishing pole was only $70?”

“It is,” he said.  “It’s $70 for the fishing pole and $10 for the duck call.”

Jun 17 2009

QotD: What is it too soon for?

What is it too soon for?

Submitted by Design Shark.

I’ll admit, Question of the Day, that this one threw me at first.  You see, most people complain about something they can’t wait for, rather than something that has arrived prematurely.  In fact, about the only thing most people complain about coming too soon (other than, ahem, coming too soon) is the annual holiday creep.  And they’re right.  Frankly, Christmas decorations could show up in stores on December 22 and that would still be too early.  But that’s not very timely now, is it?  I do enough complaining about Christmas after Thanksgiving; I don’t need to go there in June.

Ordinarily I might opine that it’s too soon for the brutal DC summer, but the weather has been rather mild and tolerable lately.  So I guess it’s too soon to start training for that marathon.  The month since I signed up has just flown by.  I didn’t run much before the big ride in Tahoe, because I didn’t want to risk jeopardizing that ride with an injury.  And I haven’t run enough since the big ride because I tweaked something in my left foot during the ride and have been in some pain since.  It’s felt better toward the end of this week, but it still seems too soon to run four miles on Sunday.

And, of course, it’s too soon for Christmas.  It’s always too soon for Christmas.  I guess I don’t have a problem going there this early after all.

Dec 30 2008

hanging out with leia on the forest moon

I arrived at work this morning to find a post-Christmas present left on my chair by a co-worker.  It's no Death Star, but it's still easily the best thing I received this year.  Legos were without question my favorite toy until I was about fourteen years old and they were all I ever wanted for Christmas except for the time I wanted a stereo that my parents lied about and made me search the house for before they gave it to me and the time I wanted a guitar which I didn't get.  And all those times I got coal.  In short, as always, Christmas blows.  But I digress….

Anyway, I always liked the space Legos but I never seemed to get many of them.  I always got the buildings (as if buildings are any fun), and every couple years I got another section or two of road so I could continue to make a town with all those buildings.  BO-RING!  Space Legos were the shit, but I never even dreamed that there might one day be Star Wars Legos.  That would have fried my little brain.

So it was with great joy this evening that I assembled my brand new Lego All Terrain Scout Transport.  And it will be with great joy that tomorrow I will return my new toy to my office, where it will stay forever.  I've had a tough enough time as of late convincing girls that they might want to visit my apartment.  I don't need this sort of repellent around to convince them they've made a huge mistake if I ever again succeed.

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