Jan 13 2011

taco life

A couple of months ago I was driving up to Baltimore after work to visit my friend Cait when she gave me a call.  She told me that she had a surprise for me, and that I should call back after I had made it through the Harbor Tunnel to let her know that I was close.  Despite my pleading, she wouldn’t give me any more information than that about what she had up her sleeve.  So I all but sprinted from the car to her doorstep, only to be greeted by the foul stench of taco meat.  I couldn’t help but laugh as I entered her house.  Hanging from the archway between the living room and the kitchen was a handmade sign in three parts that read “Surprise it’s” and “Taco Night!” followed by “Woo Hoo!”

On Tuesday we had tacos for dinner again.  It was my turn to cook, and I put the meat on the stove and went upstairs to wake up Cait – who had fallen asleep reading her latest book-club book.  Before I did that, however, I had hung a new sign – one that I made – in the archway and I tied a shiny and expensive piece of jewelry to it.  She was in kind of a daze when she came downstairs, so it took her a minute to realize that this sign was different.  Thankfully, it took her less time to say yes.

I was chatting recently with Dabysan and he suggested that it might be time to drop the “my friend” modifier when I refer to Cait.  And he may be right.  He suggested changing it to “girlfriend,” but I had a better idea.  As of last Tuesday my friend Cait is the real future Mrs. Hotrod.  And I couldn’t be happier.

Mar 15 2010

true hollywood story

Mark this date on your calendar.  A year from now, when you are saying “Gee, hotrod.vox.com turned into a celebrity gossip blog so gradually I didn’t even notice” I want you to remember March 15, 2010.

In other news: move over Zooey, you were always my second choice anyway.  Kate Winslet is single again.  Now’s the chance I’ve been waiting for to make my move!

Mar 9 2010

zooey and a hula hoop, ftw

Jeez, that last post was a real downer, huh?  Heartbreak.  Suicide.  Indecisive music purchases.  I don’t know about you, but I’m ready to push it on down the page.  And fortunately, Zooey Deschanel is here to help.  The first official video from the second record by She & Him – creatively titled Volume 2 – was released today.  All you haters who thought Zooey couldn’t be even more adorable have got another think coming.

Oct 4 2009

five feet two

Short chicks are hot.
Short chicks who swear are hotter.
Short chicks who swear and play the guitar are the hottest.


Yeah she flubs the lyrics here, but she recovers well.  The
mistake results in an additional swear, and she's
already got so much going for her that it barely matters.  I'm very sorry to break it to Zooey and Neko (and Kate and Sarah and Tina), but deep down I know Liz is the one.  Deep down, somehow, I've always known.

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Dec 31 2008

zooey deschanel can do better

I spent Christmas Eve wrapping presents and watching ElfElf is my third favorite Christmas movie (after Bad Santa and The Nightmare Before Christmas) because I enjoy watching Will Ferrell act like a jackass and I enjoy watching Zooey Deschanel be Zooey Deschanel.  I've long considered her my future "safety" celebrity girlfriend in case things don't work out between me and Kate Winslet or Neko Case or Sarah Silverman or Liz Phair or Tina Fey.  A guy could do worse than to end up with Zooey.  And let's face it – I was probably going to end up with Zooey.

But she had to go and potentially ruin everything by getting engaged.  She didn't get engaged to just anybody, either, but sensitive hipster doofus Ben Gibbard.  Normally, I would say I can't compete and concede defeat, but in this case I actually can compete.  I'm better than Ben Gibbard in every way.  I'm smarter and funnier and better looking, and I can totally kick his ass.  Plus, I have it on good authority that he has bad breath.  So watch your back, Ben.  I've finally got a New Year's Resolution worth sharing:  I'm going to steal your girlfriend.

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Dec 3 2008

neko case, ftw

This, my friends, is the cover art for the upcoming Neko Case record Middle Cyclone.  I didn't think it was possible for her to be any cooler, but it seems I've been proven wrong.  Sweet Jesus, I want to have red-headed babies with her….

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Sep 26 2008

i *heart* sarah silverman


Jul 15 2008

christian bale might not be acting

Last weekend, when I was in Pittsburgh, Vrabel and I got to talking about movies.  That's no surprise; we always do.  One of the films that came up was Rescue Dawn, the Werner Herzog picture about Dieter Dengler – a German-born Navy pilot who escaped from a Laotian POW camp.  The story obviously resonates with Herzog, as this was the second movie he has directed about Dieter.  Little Dieter Needs to Fly was a documentary; Rescue Dawn was the dramatization of the same story.  Christian Bale was cast as little Dieter in the not-quite remake.

Now, Rescue Dawn had been on my rental short-list for a while.  I remember hearing about the movie when it was filming (one of the scenes in which the stars eat bowls of worms was apparently not faked) and it was fairly well reviewed.  The Video Vault tagged it as one of their best of 2007.  So I was a little surprised when Vrabel remarked that he could barely finish watching – that he figured it must be a spoof.  (These opinions were later verified and echoed by Vanna.)  Without going into too much irrelevant detail, it was determined that I must watch the movie as soon as possible, because public opinion was both divided and emphatic, to the point that we wondered semi-seriously if there were two different versions of the movie out there.  My email to Vrabel after last Monday's screening said simply: "Why did Christian Bale choose to play the part as if Dieter was retarded?"

So Bale's appearance this morning on the Today Show might shed some light on the subject.  To wit: maybe it isn't Dieter who is retarded.  If anybody can offer an explanation as to what the fuck is going on with this accent, I'd like to hear it.

succinctly speaking

In other celebrity news, my dream girl – Sarah Silverman – is now single.  And it's about goddamn time.  I suspect it won't be long before she and I are making amusing viral videos.  People often confuse me with Matt Damon.

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